Idioteque (idioteque) wrote,
Idioteque
idioteque

Oh god

I told someone this story earlier but thought it had enough merit to repeat.

I used to quite like twizzlers, however I am well aware that they are mostly sugar+red coloring, in an effort to balance my craving for twizzlers but not my crazing for obesity I bought a pack of sugar free twizzler knock-offs. In-genius don't you think? So there I am happily consuming my faux-strawberry flavored product, when I finish the pack I happen to be glancing over the packaging, and then I saw something that caught my eye:

WARNING: EXCESSIVE CONSUMPTION MAY CAUSE LAXATIVE EFFECT

At that exact second I felt a rumbling, nay a disturbance in the delicate fabric of my intestines.

The moral of this story is not, to properly read packaging, the moral is WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MAKE A PRODUCT THAT HAS A BUILT IN LAXATIVE EFFECT? Surely there are other sugar substitutes available? Did the marketing guys really sit down and say hmm, you know what would be great? If eating this package totally made you run for the bathroom and stay there for some time, am I right guys? Yeah I'm right, HIGH FIVE!
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